Susan's Musings: Aging Gracefully, An Evangelical Call

Aging gracefully is life’s way of awakening in us a renewed appreciation for the richness

of the ordinary. The older we become, the more we appreciate the fact that life unfolds day by

day with moments to treasure, however unspectacular they may be. Growing older alone and together is not easy, but it does have a way of reframing events in simpler terms. The best part of the day becomes a walk in the park; lunch at our favorite café; a chance encounter with an old friend.

Growing older gives us more time to ponder the meaning of life and to find in every

obstacle an opportunity to grow in knowledge of ourselves and others. We know with each

passing day, with each look in the mirror, with each visit to the doctor’s office that we are

coming closer to the end of our life, diminishing physically but developing spiritually. By contrast, to age “disgracefully” is to become bitter, stand-offish, and full of self-pity,

making even those close to us feel guilty for not doing enough for us, and, worst of all, holding

grudges against God. Being alone is often only about feeling lonely, not about relishing the joy

of integrating solitude and togetherness.

To age “gracefully” is to accept life’s limits as blessings. We treasure the moments of

companionship we enjoy with others. Most of all, we become more reflective. Presence to a

mystery in and beyond us illumines everything we do, whatever our level of activity may be. The

present moment is all that we have, so why not exude gratitude for the peaks and valleys it offers us day by day?

There is no doubt that a huge obstacle to aging gracefully is lack of gratitude. As Dag

Hammarskjöld, the former Secretary-General of the United Nations, once said: “For all that has

been, thanks. For all that shall be, yes!” Aging gives us the opportunity to recommit ourselves to being the kind and pleasant person whose company others seek. A grateful “elder statesman”—not an ungrateful sourpuss—is that proverbial person we want to be when we grow up.

An aid to practicing the attitude of gratitude is to say a “thank you” prayer. As physical

limits become unmistakable, an example may be: “Thank you for the walker that helps me to

keep my balance and avoid dangerous falls.” Emotionally, we might say: “Thank you for the sadness I feel today because that call I expected did not come. I pray the phone will ring tomorrow, and I am thankful in advance if it does.”

When memory eludes us, why not muster the courage to say, “Thank you for letting me

forget once again where I put my keys. I was able to stop that frantic feeling, to pause, to pray,

and to wait patiently until I discovered where they were.” Low points happen spiritually, but here, too, it behooves us to pray, “Thank you that today I felt a wave of desert dryness, but I knew I was not alone and I felt comforted.” Such gratitude cures the worst sickness of aging: not organic diminishment but loss of hope; not mild forgetfulness but a stubborn refusal to seek help; not normal times of loneliness or mourning for a lost loved one but chronic complaining and negative views that only allow us to see dark clouds, never rainbows. Aging gracefully gives us the opportunity to practice one of the greatest spiritual disciplines there is—that of detachment. To grow older necessitates letting go of so much that we used to know and do and ultimately of life itself. Before we pass over to the next life, now is the time to detach ourselves from useless worry; from possessions we no longer need; from hurts we at last must forgive.

We have no choice but to slow down and celebrate the glory of a good life, lived as well

as possible and manifested in a sunrise, in a small group meeting, in a compliment we never

expected to receive.

To age gracefully is to accept reality as it is rather than filtering it through the narrow

viewfinder of our “disgraceful” demands. It takes courage to face the brevity of life, no matter how old we are. Time passes so quickly. We wonder where the years have gone, but our faith assures us that the light tribulations of this present day are preparing us for an eternal weight of glory (see 2 Cor 4:17). That is why we can recommit ourselves, whatever our chronological age may be, to grow in gratitude and, above all, to grow older gracefully, and so we pray:

Lord, here I am, your aging disciple, that older friend

who seeks your company and whose only desire is to

do your will. My age is a benevolent reminder that I

am nothing and you are all. Help me to find the self

you have always wanted me to be and to follow you

day by day until I cross over to eternity. Let me

remember with every breath left to me: I am yours

because you are mine. Amen.